How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Added November 6th, 2001
1. At lunch
time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't
disguise your voice.3. Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries with
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and
label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3
weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their
caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with
"in accordance with the prophecy."
7. Dont use any punctuation marks
8. As often as possible, skip rather than
9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh
hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order
is "to go".
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why
the poems don't rhyme.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work
area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
14. Five days in advance, tell your
friends you can't attend their party because you're
not in the mood.
15. Have your coworkers address you by
your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
16. When the money comes out the ATM,
scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"
17. When leaving the zoo, start running
towards the parking lot, yelling "run for
your lives, they're loose!!"
18. Tell your children over dinner.
"due to the economy, we are going to have to let one
of you go.